OK, so according to "doing this web shit for dummies", which may or may not exist, I'm supposed to tell you about me to establish credibility so you aren't wasting your time on this site. Unlike other efforts similar to this one, I'm, just doing this as a blog entry as I find that whole, "Oooo! Look at me! See how cool I am!" stuff to be worth about as much as the electric paper it's printed on. But, there is some value in introducing myself.
Honestly, as the name says, I'm just another damn cook running another damn food blog on the internet, so I'm going to stick with that for a while. I am not currently a professional chef, but I am classically trained (Cordon Bleu), have worked in professional kitchens as a chef, and have even taught culinary school for several semesters. I'm also a fat guy, though based on my diet of late, my corpulence should not be an indicator of a discerning palate. I'm also not a foodie. I'm not a Food Network fanboy. I've never been to "Flavor Town" and I despise cooking competitions.
This is also not my first food blog. I had this idea, over 20 years ago, when I was trying to "make my bones" as it were. I was working on my branding, my cookbooks, my products, building my following, and then I read a contract and walked away from professional cooking altogether, hiding in the "safety" of an office. You see, I never really wanted to be famous, still don't. To be famous is to be owned; to be limited by external expectations and I was really worried that in order to be successful, I'd have to be famous. I didn't want to be recognized in public or have my livelihood dependent on my image. So I was staring down the barrel of the necessity of fame or toiling away at someone else's restaurant for little money and long hours, unlikely to scrape up enough to start my own place, which in also a lot like being owned. So I ran.
All I wanted to build a successful business and peddle my wares. Maybe buy a food truck (20 years ago - I was way ahead of my time) but professional cooking, you really must understand, is a constant state of proving yourself, over and over, to people who regard you as "the help" (customers) or the enemy (the kitchen). Sorry, but that's a serious piece of truth right there. It's a perpetual dick measuring contest in back of the house and 24/7 schmoozefest outside the restaurant, and frankly, I didn't have the stomach for it. Too much risk, not enough reward. I had a family to feed and a life to build. Success had very little to do with what you could produce and everything to do with your ability to be a tool or be cool. I'm certain that mess will come up again.
Nothing has really changed in the interim. Except me. I mean, I still don't want to be famous. I don't want to be an "influencer". That shit's creepy and really dehumanizing to all involved. And I damned sure don't want to be owned. My goal is the same as it was back then, but my tactics and understanding have changed. With so many people out there doing this shit, I have a certain level of anonymity. I am one of many and that really takes the pressure off. This medium allows me to do this on my terms. Those of you who like what I do will like me for that. Those of you who don't will find someone else. Free will, baby. No strings attached. It's a beautiful thing.
Why do this, then? A couple reasons. Yes, I would really love to build this into something big-ish, to free myself, but it's not the main goal. I love the process of scratch cooking. Having an idea, bringing it to fruition and then moving on.I also love to eat. I mentioned my embrace of hedonism. I believe pleasure and joy are the primary purpose of being alive. For me, the naked pleasures and the pleasures of the table run neck and neck on my priority list and this is an outlet to celebrate that desire while keeping my clothes on. Hedonism is part of my "spiritual" path and overall outlook on life but it's not all reckless abandon. I subscribe to the notion of "rational hedonism", of which there are two tenets. The first is "Do what thou will; stick none with the bill."
It's a tempering statement. It means, by all means have a good time, but you are the only one who pays the price for that good time. Again, free will. No one plays and no one pays against their will. The second, which you will hear me repeat ad nauseum is this: "Nothing in the Universe is free." This is an allusion to my belief in Natural Law and is demonstrated readily as a constant in the kitchen.
What to expect? Well, the usual, I suppose. Recipes. Cooking videos, once I quit sucking at making them and editing them. Product reviews. Diet stuff (more on that later). Blog entries like this one. Branding, I guess, in case this takes off. Philosophy. Alchemy will no doubt pop in from time to time. Kitchen mistakes. Kitchen victories. Oh, and my vow to not bury a recipe in a post to keep you on the page longer. That shit is just infuriating.
I will not tell you what is good. I will not tell you what is bad. Good and bad are subjective and context dependent, so I can't. I will not tell you how things "must be" done. I will not tell you what you "simply must eat" for acceptance. I have little tolerance for that sort of thing and the people who do it.
What I will do is tell you what I like, what I do, and why I do it. I just want to do my thing. What you do with I do is your business.