The tacos were a bitter disappointment. The texture of the meat came across as boiled within an inch of fading into unreality and was so lacking in flavor many of my British friends would have reached for anything at all in order to taste something while eating them. Oh, and factory-made flour tortillas. Taco Bell style. Somehow, they always remind me of albino Laffy Taffy; not as sticky, but just as gummy.
What I was not expecting was an overall mood change as well as a marked decline in my cognitive abilities. I’m a fucking dumbass right now. I lack focus, which is relatively normal for me, but this is amazingly bad. Likewise, my memory, long and short term is pretty much non-existent, which got me to thinking about the first time I did this.
Why Monday? Because Monday traditionally sucks anyhow and it is usually my heaviest day of the week. Friday is my lightest. If you’re doing this, too, you’ll find your heaviest and lightest day. I choose Monday to keep realistic. I weigh more in the mornings. The only slack I cut me is waiting until after I poop. I need to feel like I’m achieving something.
Video talking about my shitty videos. Remember, they'll suck until they get better.
Other topics include: the crap at the bottom of the coffee cup, another damn diet of course, underwhelming Chinese takeout, some burping, a prostate, aliens from the future and the ever present discussion of "um".
I’m obsessed with sausage right now. I really want a bratwurst on a hearty artisanal roll, the kind with all the whole grains kneaded into the dough, but still soft on the outside. I want that, with a stone ground or heavy horseradish mustard, covered with proper sauerkraut. Adequately rinsed, sauteed gently in a little bacon fat and seasoned with juniper and caraway, garnished with caramelized onions and way too much Swiss cheese.
Look. Life is about pleasure. I'm here for a good time, not a long time. So while I'm trying to figure out this social media bullshit, I'm going to have some fun.
