I call this “White People Keema” because it’s about as authentic as a politician’s tears. The spice level won’t peel paint or make anyone sweat through their shirt, but it still smells like you know what you’re doing. Ground beef (lamb is better), peas, and potatoes simmered in a mild blend of garlic, ginger, and grocery-store curry powder— it’s all comfort and no pretense. You can crank up the heat if you want, but this version’s designed for folks who like flavor without feeling like they’re being punished for it. Serve it with naan and self-awareness.