It’s officially been two years since I ran screaming from my old life and I’m OK. I mean, sure, it’s 0242 on a Saturday and I can’t sleep so I’m sitting here in my underpants, soft white underbelly getting softer and whiter in the glow of these monitors.
But I really am OK. At least from where I sit.
The wife and I were talking yesterday, I can’t really remember about what and we got off on the topic of menial labor. I remarked that there is something to be said for menial labor. It can be quite peaceful if you want to be alone with your thoughts and get paid.
Now, I know that what I currently do for money isn’t technically menial labor, but compared to my previous life, it really is. I’m performing way below my capabilities and skill level and again, I’m OK.
The day job isn’t wonderful. It’s not really intended to be. Its function is to pay my bills and allow me the freedom to pursue my own happiness while doing so. From that perspective, it’s stellar. Frankly, I’m amazed I’ve managed to hang onto it for two full years now. I have an attitude problem. Wait. That’s not quite accurate. I have a perspective problem which looks a lot like an attitude problem.
It's certainly been an adjustment, moving from salaried middle management to hourly, billable labor. I’ve looked at work from both sides now…
Well, shit. Joni Mitchell. Ugh…
How far I’ve fallen and how far I’ve come. Again, both sides. Again, perspective.
What I see most from my current position is how much bullshit there is from above. And more from the sides. So much ambition, but in the end it’s fruitless. Ambition is a tool of exploitation, frankly. You give me someone who is ambitious in the workplace and I will give you distrust, manipulation, judgment, and a straight up toxic work environment. I honestly wasn’t like that on my way up. Probably why I was never comfortable. The thing is, there is a sort of caste system in corporate America. It’s fucking high school with a paycheck. It’s worse with the younger generations who grew up on cutthroat reality TV.
It occurs to me I quit high school. And largely for the same reasons. I didn’t want to go through the motions of being put in a box. I didn’t want to be trapped in a life I didn’t want. It always felt like I was being set up. I ran then and I ran two years ago and both were the correct decisions.
So. Here we are. Two years of trying to restore my sanity by embracing the insane. I cook. I think. I write. I make videos. I work a day job. And I’m more or less happy, finally. Likewise, if this never works out and I’m never successful with it, I’ve already won because I did it. Anything from now on is gravy.
Now let’s talk about the goat in the room. Chalupa Cabra. The dish is made. I’m happy with the stewed goat, despite it tasting eerily like my chili. I mean, sure, I totally fucked up the recipe in the video itself, but it still turned out just fine. I’m really not sure where my head was for that. I think my sole focus was on the fry bread. Or my brand, spanking new left ankle injury.
A couple years back, before I lost my shit and started this, I blew out my right ankle. At the time, they said it was a bone-spur irritating my Achilles tendon. To this day it still bothers me, but not like it did then. The Friday evening before the Chalupa shoot, I noticed a twinge in my left ankle. By Saturday morning, it was no different than I recall the right being, making shooting that morning difficult. I almost called the shoot off, but my Offspring was here and that nasty ass goat was thawed. Also, this is show biz and the show must go on.
It did indeed go on and I left some things out. But I got to explore homemade, “on-the-fly” ketchup. I completely left the orange out. The posted recipe will be correct.
It was really nice, having my son back for the shoot. I genuinely wish I could have included all the conversation between us in the video, but it would have taken away from the video, itself. I’ll always have the source material if I ever want to go back. He’s really an amazing man.
As to the dish, the version served was really good. The fry bread was crispy, but lacked salt. I’m resting another batch right now as I write this to get that just right for the published version. I also used way too much baking powder, so hopefully this last version will be good. As with most of my recipes from now, into the future, this will be focused on small batches only. It turns out many single people won’t cook, even though they may want to, because it’s too much food for one or two people.
Unless the Offspring is visiting, we are almost always one or two people here, so I think that’ll help keep the perspective correct.
OK. Yes. I’m very satisfied with the small batch fry bread. That worked out well. It also reheats just fine without getting tough or overly greasy.
I’m getting ready to do a small batch of creole sauce – the goal is one half litre. I may turn it into a creole pizza for the next shoot. Shit, yeah. That sounds good. That’s going to take some serious thought.
So the goat is in the can. The video is posted on Patreon. The recipes are up. All that’s left is… Crass commercialism!
Ya'll go cook something.
