It’s February 2nd, 2024. Groundhog Day and the weekend is approaching. According to the resources in my garage freezer, I have two 8-ounce portions of utility chicken left which means, two things. First, I have to make more utility chicken. Woo. I hate making utility chicken. Particularly without the benefit of beer to aid me. Second, I finally have a way to address utility chicken on this Blog. I mean I mention it often enough.
Utility Chicken
In very simple terms, utility chicken is boneless, skinless chicken thighs, pre-seasoned with salt, pepper and garlic at the very minimum. Sometimes augmented with sage. It’s grilled with a reasonable amount of wood chips to give it some smoke or smoked outright, depending on my time constraints/production requirements. From there, they are cooled, vacuum sealed into roughly 8 ounce portions, and frozen.
Yeah, that’s right. I’m a prepper. A diet prepper. Wouldn’t you like to be a prepper, too? If so, get a good vacuum sealer.
I honestly have no idea which to recommend. Mine is about 10 years old and once I got the hang of it, has been everything I ever wanted. The brand is Food Saver and it works like a champ. If you’re looking for one, focus on the one feature you are looking for and not all the other crap. Not saying all the other crap isn’t worth having, but for the price, core competency is key. I like this one.
Replacement bags are hit or miss, but I've had very good luck with these quart sized bags. The three keys to using these devices correctly are:
- Food should be cool. I have to chill down my utility chicken prior to bagging and sealing.
- The dryer the better. If food is wet when the bag goes under vacuum, that fluid will be pulled to the open end of the bag and can prevent sealing.
- Leave some space around the food. Try to center the food in the middle of the bag so the air may be sucked out around it. I've had issues with air being trapped between the bottom of the bag and my food, defeating the purpose of vacuum sealing.
Now, back to utility chicken.
Normally I buy at least four dozen thighs at a time, roughly 20 lbs of chicken because even though it’s a bit of a job, it’s so convenient later, particularly when dieting. Utility chicken is a diet staple for me. Which got me to thinking about the other “must haves” I keep on hand while dieting.
Low Calorie Tortillas
Anything can be taco fodder, depending on your commitment, particularly when dieting. The filling is less important than the filling delivery device. I know. White people tacos.
Mission Foods makes the best low calorie tortillas I’ve had, and my God, the options. Sadly, I inevitably get the store brand because they are cheaper; whole wheat and standard white at 45 calories each. The Mission brand is a much more consistent quality and probably worth the price difference, but you can only pay for what you can pay for. The wife prefers the white and I admit they taste more like traditional tortillas, but I like the sturdier texture of the brown ones. Mission does make a low calorie corn tortilla which are amazingly good, very low calorie, and itty bitty. I’d love to keep them on hand, but they are too damn good and don’t last long. At some point, I'm going to do a lower calorie version of Jack-in-the-Box's hangover tacos and the Mission corn tortillas will be the delivery device.
Protein Beverages
While I like Pure Protein and Premier Protein the best, (the latter having far more interesting flavors), cost consideration steers me to the store brand. I’m particularly fond of the Dulce de Leche flavor. The vanilla and chocolate taste too artificial and there is something to be said for a state wide grocery chain that panders to Hispanic tastes – you get the standard flavors, plus something interesting. I find "Muscle Milk" too much of everything, calories, price, and flavor. Also, the name is just off putting. Sounds too much like "Meat Squeezin's" or "Bumper Nuts" for my taste. I'm clearly not their target demo.
Utility Pig
Like utility chicken, but raw. Usually I will buy an entire pork loin (pork continues to be the cheapest market form of protein, except maybe turkey.), trim it, portion it out, saving the ugly ends for schnitzel or "barbecue", and vacuum seal it for easy access.
Utility Turkey
I will usually brine and smoke a bird to sandbag for my diet. I break it down by light and dark meat into 8 ounce vacuum sealed portions. This almost always becomes a flavoring agent in something else due to the high salt content and smokey flavor. It's also worth mentioning that turkey stock is what get used most around here when I'm not dieting.
Pork Tenderloin
Pork tenderloins are extremely low calorie, bring a lot of flavor and tenderness to the party, and respond well to quick oven roasting. I like Smithfield in general, as long as it's not the marinated kind, because there are two in a package and on sale frequently. Amazon Fresh also has a one pound tenderloin for a reasonable price.
Foam Disks
OK, they aren't really called "foam disks" but that's what I call them. Basically, these are replacements for the rice cakes of the 80’s and 90’s. Some of you will remember. They are actually called "Kim's Magic Pop". They don't have a lot of flavor (I only get the plain; stay away from the onion.) but at 15 calories apiece, they make an excellent chip for salsa or container for something else with flavor.
Mushrooms
I'll get white if necessary, but crimini (Now marketed most often as "Baby Portabellas". Douchy.)is the preference. The later feels more like eating something. I can’t say enough about mushrooms. There’s a whole lot of earthy goodness for just 100 calories per pound. There’s this “Snack of Desperation” I do with mushrooms and foam disks that really satisfies. I’ll add it one day.
Cayenne Pepper
Cayenne. Enough said.
Salsa
Pace thick and chunky. Mild because you can always add spice. That's what they cayenne is for.
Sriracha
Sriracha. The real one. Huy Fong. I accept no substitutes. You do you.
Garlic
Garlic – Powdered, fresh cloves, minced in a jar. Honestly should be classified as a vegetable.
Onions, Yellow
Lower calorie flavor and bulk.
Lunchmeat
Specifically Land-o-Frost honey and smoked ham. The Black Forest is good too, but I can’t look at it anymore as I ate too much last diet. All the ham varieties are 50 calories per service on 12.5 calories per slice. You can get the turkey, just know that it's higher in calories.
Bell Peppers
We keep green ones for the wife. I prefer my bell peppers, really all peppers, to be ripe.
Celery
Celery. With all the fiber, it’s calorically neutral and is an important flavoring.
Dill Pickles
Vital snack agent. Calorically pointless, yet satisfying. I particularly prefer the Del Dixie Kosher Dills.
Vitamins
In my case, “Old Guy Multi-vitamins” (Centrum Silver 50+). No gummies. That's just nutritious candy.
Metamucil
My diet is, not by intention, very low fat. I could eat nothing but fat if I wanted, as long as I don’t exceed 1300 calories. As I would rather feel full that eat fat, It’s pretty much non-existent in my diet. As it turns out, a certain amount of fat is very helpful in dispatching solid waste from the body. That’s what the external fiber is for. Make certain to get the the capsules. Or the clear stuff you can dissolve in your coffee, if you can find it. The other stuff consumes more calories you could be spending on things that taste good.
Frozen Veg
Frozen broccoli, cauliflower, Normandy blend, cauliflower rice, brussels sprouts. On average, 150 calories per pound of filler food. Nukable in a pinch.
Water
Water. I try to drink a gallon a day.
Iced Tea
Iced tea with tons of Splenda. Because sometimes I need something sweet and it helps with the water requirement. I'm partial to peach flavored.
Splenda
Sucralose. Splenda is a brand name. Also the best quality for cooking. Yeah, I know, artificial sweeteners are of the devil and that shit, but the truth is, I'm 53 and chances are, whatever I die from killed me years ago, so if I sprout an extra limb from eating space age polymers, so be it.
Cabbage
Cabbage. I’ve really come to hate cabbage over the years. But it’s a staple. Low calorie bulk.
Marinades
Sauces for marinading & simmering. They aren’t usually calorically cheap, but you can manage that by diluting for the marinade and then reducing after the meat is cooked, collecting all those meat particulates in the reconstituted sauce. Solve et Coagula.
I did mention there would be some alchemy here.
